The Whims and Foibles of Sports...
Let us hear from you
Brackets busted, NCAA tourney down to 16!


Don't forget to check out our inside pages:
Stay Fit: A regular exercise plan can keep you fit
Event Calendar: See where our little roadshow is headed next.
Professional Services Let us write your next Speech for you.

(c) 2015 JWMiller All Rights Reserved
Who will win the NCAA men's tournament?Kentucky
Michigan State
Notre Dame

The Whims and Foibles of Sports...

Bracketoholic, ditched by Cinderella, seeks treatment!

by J.W. Miller on 03/23/15

The good Cinderella was big at the box office over the weekend, extending her global sales performance to $253 million in the five weeks since her release. In another dominion much closer to home, the bad Cinderella made enough appearances in the first weekend of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament to wreck most brackets and then, in the tradition of fickle blondes everywhere, departed leaving millions of poor saps in financial and emotional ruin. 

The voodoo queens in New Orleans were busy last week, counseling the suckers on the current karma of Coastal Carolina or the geographical value of such unknowns as North Dakota State, Eastern Washington or Texas Southern. Of course, this week the herd of losers lined up outside the free psych clinic to learn why we do this year after year. And, yes, my name is Jim and I am a bracketoholic! 

Every guy out there who thinks he knows anything at all about college basketball fills out the annual NCAA men’s basketball bracket. It’s an obligation to do so, like shaving or putting the garbage out on Tuesdays and Fridays. Some guys fill out a bracket so they can have something to share with the schmuck down the hall who takes the last cup of coffee out of the pot or the last brownie from the tray. It’s not only a right of civility but a leavening process that puts anyone on the same level as anyone else, regardless of job title, your high school or your political preference. Just because one guy wears $1,000 suits or Hermés ties does not mean he knows any more than Joe Sixpack about picking 12-seeds over 5-seeds. 

But it is worse when you compete in Bracketology with a family member. Take the renowned C.C. Miller, for example. My son is a high school senior, and, while not declaring himself smarter that Pops just yet, he takes great delight in his little victories. And he is on his way to a major one in our annual NCAA bracket showdown. In fact, thanks to that skank Cinderella who ditched me this year, my son has forged ahead and now has it in the “four corners” defense. I am already mathematically eliminated. 

Let’s go back to my obviously flawed thought process that put me into this position. It’s well known that every year two or three low seeds shock a higher seed and advance in the tournament. Traditionally, it is the No. 12 seed, which is typically the champion of a lower-ranked  conference or the conference tournament. The secret is that such teams are generally made up of players who stay in school three or four years, who have played together longer and who are not dazzled by the hype of the higher seeds. Last year, three No. 12 seeds shockingly defeated their higher ranked rivals and advanced, and I picked every one. No. 12 Stephen F. Austin beat No. 5 VCU; No. 12 Harvard beat No. 5 Cincinnati and No. 12 North Dakota State beat No. 5 Oklahoma. (As a footnote, the fourth No. 12 seed, North Carolina State, lost by three to No. 5 Saint Louis.)

I rode that three-win margin, plus a loyalty pick of No. 8 seed Kentucky to go to the Final Four, to victory. This year, my loyalty pick is more logical with the Wildcats ranked No. 1, but I also figured the No. 12 seeds were again a good bet. I picked Buffalo to beat West Virginia and Stephen F. Austin to beat Utah, and I threw in No. 14 Albany in to upset No. 3 Oklahoma. WRONNNGGG! All three lost. To add insult, Cinderella stepped onto the dance floor and broke my heart when she winked at two other No. 14 seeds, UAB and Georgia State, who upset Iowa State and Baylor, who I had selected. The loyalty thing bit me this year when I picked the SEC schools to win at least one game, but Georgia and Ole Miss lost decisively while LSU went into the locker room with five minutes remaining and lost to N.C. State. I did get one win out of Arkansas, but the damage was done.  

So here I sit, overwrought, distraught and taken aback by my humbling. The stakes were $25 against a free lawn cutting, so it wasn’t a huge financial hit, but what price can you put on bragging rights? The NCAA should be like the hotels and car dealers who send out satisfaction surveys after you stay or purchase.  I know just what I would say if the NCAA ever sent out such a survey. For the sake of bracketoholics like me, blank brackets should come with a warning label. Fill it out at your own risk!

It's tourney time, and I still hate Christian Laettner!

by J.W. Miller on 03/15/15

Two sets of opinions greeted ESPN’s retrospective on former Duke star Christian Laettner that aired Sunday night. There is the camp that believes ESPN has a tremendous sense of humor. After all, the show aired immediately after the 2015 NCAA Selection Show that declared No. 1 Kentucky an overwhelming favorite to win their ninth national championship. Then, there are guys like me, who have lived much of their lives in accordance with the program’s title: “I hate Christian Laettner.” 

Any Kentucky fan over the age of 30 remembers exactly where he was the night that Laettner stuck a dagger into Big Blue hearts, hitting a turnaround jumper with 2.1 seconds left in overtime of a regional final to beat Kentucky 104-103. However, there is comedy in tragedy, and therein lies my story. 

I was watching the game at the lobby bar at the Westin Hotel in New Orleans with Pete Rozelle. My soon-to-be-wife, the Lovely Miss Jean, drug me to a wedding reception for a high school friend at the venue where our own reception would be held in a few months. She was scouting the Westin staff to make sure they knew what they were doing. That she could drag me along on such a night was testament to two facts: She was establishing a pattern of obedience (mine), and I didn’t think my team had much of a shot. 

After all, Duke was the defending national champion and ranked No. 1, while Kentucky was a low seed in the second year of Rick Pitino’s resurrection of the UK program after it had come off NCAA probation. Rozelle was there for much the same reason: Obedience (his). His wife, Carrie, was a good friend of the groom’s family, and she brought him along. Our mere presence assured, we both were allowed to leave the reception for the bar, where we watched a game that Sports Illustrated calls the greatest college game ever played and ESPN ranks as No. 17 in their Top 100 Sport Moments of the past 25 years. 

With the NCAA tournament beginning this week and the Final Four scheduled April 4 and 6, the shot will be replayed over and over again. It always annoys me that the shot is considered one of the great tournament moments, although it was not a Final Four game. It was the finals of the East Regional at the Palestra in Philadelphia, and the winner would go to the Final Four. 

No matter where it was played, that game has haunted me for years. One of the great mysteries of that play is why Pitino did not guard Grant Hill’s floor-length throw-in pass to Laettner. He positioned John Pelphrey and Deron Feldhaus behind Laettner, daring him to hit the shot. But until that moment, Laettner had hit all nine of his field-goal attempts and all ten of his free throws. Why wouldn’t he hit another one? Years later when I was AD at the University of New Orleans, and Pelphrey was head coach at South Alabama, I asked him why he didn’t stand in front of Laettner? “That’s the way coach drew it up,” answered Coach Pelphrey. It became a running joke between us, every time I would see him at a conference meeting or a game. He would see me coming, hold his palms up in mock defense and respond to my inevitable question: “I know, I should have jumped in front of him!” 

I did extract a moment of satisfaction about ten years after the shot. I was in the front office of the Chicago Bears, and I took my older daughter, Lindsay, who was home from college, to a Bulls game. The Bulls were playing the Detroit Pistons, and at one point in the game, a Pistons player was fouled. As he stepped to the line, I saw it was Laettner. For some reason, the United Center Crowd grew quiet as I stood up from my seats about 15 rows up, and, sacrificing my anonymity, shouted “Laettner, you still suck!” 

A couple Bulls fans around me clapped in support, probably because I was dissing a Piston, but a guy a couple rows down got it. He stood up and looked back at me. “Are you from Kentucky?” he said. I responded: “Absolutely!” He raised his fist and said “Me, too, and I still hate the sonofabitch!”

Saints traded value to get value at a need position!

by J.W. Miller on 03/11/15

I don’t know many people who laugh at funerals, but pardon me while I chuckle at the reaction from Who Dat Nation over the Saints’ trade of TE Jimmy Graham to Seattle on Tuesday. No, change that “TE” identification to “Icon” with a capital “I” because if you polled Saints’ fans before about 3 p.m. Tuesday, Graham would have been listed at No. 2 current “Saint of Saints” behind QB and Icon Drew Brees. 

I do not want this to sound like I wanted the team to jettison a Pro Bowler who in his first few years has revolutionized his position. No, I am chuckling because the reaction in the bars of Bucktown, the Mardi Gras dens of Destrehan and the churches of Central City is similar to the uproar that an earlier generation of Saints executives faced when we dumped another warm and fuzzy pet of Who Dat Nation, dimpled K Morten Andersen. TV programs Tuesday night showed little kids crying and some black-and-gold faithful shaking their heads. All that was missing was my mother-in-law's sister who apologized to her friends with the explanation: "Well, he married into the family!"

Of course, there are fans who understand, kind of, what the Saints’ braintrust was thinking when it sent Graham and a fourth-round draft choice to the Seahawks for C Max Unger and their first-round draft pick, which is No. 31 in next month’s NFL draft. I know what the Seattle braintrust might have been thinking: Russell Wilson would have loved to have had Jimmy Graham standing in the end zone when he threw that final pass in the Super Bowl! The trade was a win-win for both teams, although I think next time Seattle still gives the ball to Marshawn Lynch! 

I made the rounds of TV shows on Tuesday afternoon commenting on what I characterized as a “bold” move by the Saints, but one question hit the nail on the head. Fletcher Mackel of WDSU-TV asked me if NFL executives ever feel an emotional attachment to players that makes the decision to trade or terminate difficult. The question and my response, which I don’t think were aired, was that sentiment does not exist in an NFL front office. There are players you grow fond of, but the bottom line is that you do what is best for your team. There are 32 sets of executives who are trying to win one gold ring each year, and the ones who let sentiment get in the way won’t be in the position very long. 

NFL executives see each player as value, some higher than others, but all have value. If the case of Jimmy Graham, the Saints had a player of enormous value, but he played a position that was far less critical than other positions of need. Graham was a luxury the team could not afford. Regular readers of this space know I have carped for the past two years about the inefficiency of the Saints’ offensive line play. Drew Brees was hounded too many times by opposing pass rushers that reduced a once-vaunted passing game to an exercise of  “run for your life.” 

If your quarterback doesn’t have time for his receivers to get into their patterns, it doesn’t matter if the guys running downfield are named Graham, Jerry Rice or Joe the Ragman. A quarterback never completed a pass from a posterior position. Unger, a two-time Pro Bowler, will provide Brees with a new bodyguard and probably another crucial second or two to find the open receiver. Look for a revival in the Saints' passing attack in 2015.

 The lagniappe in the deal was the Seahawks’ first-round pick, which gives the Saints other options. Added to the No. 13 pick, the Saints have greater flexibility to move up or down to get a player or two who will fill other areas of need. Edge pass rusher or cornerback are the greatest needs, but I wouldn’t object to another young offensive lineman or even an inside linebacker. The Saints now have a better opportunity to fill those holes.

My message to Who Dat Nation, which did make the WDSU-TV broadcast was “take a deep breath. You got a Pro Bowl player at a position of need and a No. 1 draft pick to find another.” It was a win-win for both teams. You will learn to love it! 

Saints learn from Morgus: Good chemistry counts!

by J.W. Miller on 03/09/15

New Orleans television fans have long embraced “Morgus the Magnificent,” a mad scientist who hosted late-night science fiction and horror movies from the 1950s into the 1980s and again in a 2006 revival. With the able assistance of his executioner sidekick, Chopsley, Morgus introduced formulas and devices such as his "Instant People Machine" that was intended to transform people into sand and back to their original form during the movie. However, by the closing credits, Morgus’ inventions and madcap chemistry usually had gone “pfffft.” 

And that perfectly described the Saints’ approach to free agency exactly one year ago. Good chemistry mattered less than flashy new formulas or devices that could transform Salary Cap sand into a living, breathing body that could contend for a Super Bowl. As a result, the Saints drastically altered their chemistry by dumping (by free agency, trade or terminations) such team leaders as Malcolm Jenkins, Roman Harper, Will Smith, Darren Sproles, Brian de la Puente, Jonathan Vilma and Lance Moore. 

Granted, some of them were at the end of their careers, particularly Vilma and Smith, and some were too expensive to keep, but to jettison too many veteran players at one time severely damaged the locker-room dynamic. Nobody can throw rocks at the Saints for wanting to upgrade their personnel, such as believing that 2013 rookie sensation Kenny Vaccaro gave them more speed than Harper or that it was time for young wide receivers Kenny Stills and Nick Toon to make Moore expendable.  But, like most of Morgus’ experiments, most of those experiments went “pffft!” during a 7-9 season. 

We can always blame the Salary Cap for forcing a team to make decisions it does not want to make, reasons that Sproles and de la Puente changed teams. But to make all those changes at one time left a leadership gap that was undoubtedly one reason that Who Dat Nation led the NFL in Prozac consumption. The good news in 2015 is that the signing of RB Mark Ingram to a new four-year deal over the weekend, on the eve of free agency, tells me that the team has learned from its experience. Ditto the contract maneuver that will keep WR Marques Colston in uniform for at least another season. By all accounts, Ingram and Colston are good teammates and positive influences on the younger players. Those qualities are critical elements in the good chemistry formula. 

Similar intrigues are being contemplated even as you read this. Reports are flying that the Saints will pursue Falcons free-agent LB Sean Weatherspoon, Atlanta's 2010 first-round pick, while trying to trade LB Curtis Lofton. That makes sense especially if LB David Hawthorne is a salary cap casualty. Hawthorne might be joined by other high-cap vets, possibly defensive lineman Broderick Bunkley or one of the two starting guards, Jahri Evans or Ben Grubbs. 

Whatever decisions are made, Saints fans should take comfort in the fact that GM Mickey Loomis manages the Salary Cap as well as any executive in the League. His ability to shed millions in cap dollars and still come up with free agent signings like safety Jairus Byrd last season isn’t easy. The goal is to keep contributors on the roster while terminating players whose performance in 2014 did not justify their 2015 number. 

But, as Morgus has cautioned, that only works if the chemistry is good. 

Pelicans' no-names win and wait for good health to return!

by J.W. Miller on 03/02/15

A week or so ago, I had planned today’s column as the official wake for the New Orleans Pelicans. After all, they had betrayed the promise of a four-game win streak before the All-Star game by losing to some really bad teams like the Pacers and the Magic. Then, they lost their only superstar when Anthony Davis reinjured the shoulder that kept him out of the All-Star game, and long-range bomber Ryan Anderson went down with a knee injury. With point guard Jrue Holiday already sitting in the whirlpool, the Pels feature the NBA’s most expensive training room. The trading deadline came, and while other teams in the West were loading up for the stretch run, the Pelican brass moved the deck chairs around on the sinking deck, trading Arnie Portocarrero for Danny Kravitz. 

Excuse me, but when you trade John Salmons for Norris Cole and acquire cap expendables such as Shawne Williams, Justin Hamilton and Ish Smith along with draft rights to somebody named Latavious Williams, it puts me in a 1957 baseball trading card mood! Everybody else in the West helped themselves, including Phoenix and Oklahoma City, the Pelicans’ main competitors for the eighth playoff spot. And with Davis and Anderson out for at least two weeks, what were we to expect but to fall lower in the standings, possibly low enough to fall out of contention altogether before Easter? 

So what do they do? They screwed up a good column by winning. I don’t know how. The Pelicans roster is the NBA’s version of the Witness Protection Program because nobody has ever heard of them. The only way most of these guys would qualify as McDonald’s All-Americans would be to eat twenty Big Macs at one sitting. Call it smoke and mirrors, legerdemain or just some old fashioned New Orleans gris-gris, these guys are suddenly playing like NBA players, which has rekindled playoff hopes in the NBA’s toughest conference.

It’s a major tribute to Coach Monty Williams, who is considered one of the better young coaches in the league. He has the team in a defensive mindset, guarding the 3-point line and relying on Omer Asik and the revivified Alexis Ajinca to guard the bucket. He is getting heroic offensive performances from different guys every night. Ajinca scored 16 points and Luke Babbitt picked up 18 as the Pels came from 18 down to beat Toronto 100-97 on Feb. 23. Even newly acquired Danny Kravitz, er, uh, Norris Cole, added 15 in that game. Another new arrival, Quincy Pondexter, (wasn’t he the bandleader on Saturday Night Live?), scored 25 in a 102-96 win over the Nets. Ajinca did his best impression of Davis, scoring 24 in a 104-102 win over Miami. Even Eric Gordon, who has spent more time in the recovery room than Marcus Welby, scored 24 in a 105-91 win over Miami. And Sunday night, the Pelicans won their fifth in a row as Tyreke Evans, the only star still standing, scored 22 points, and the defense held off the struggling Denver Nuggets 99-92. 

We can play the what-if game and say what if the Pelicans were in the East Conference, they would be tied with the Bucks for a No. 6 seed. The No. 8 seed in the East right now is nine games under .500. However, they live in the NBA’s Western Division where ten teams have winning records and a rich playoff heritage. 

Despite the current surge, GM Dell Demps is still on my hot seat. After Davis fell into their lap at No. 1 in 2012, they spent a No. 10 pick on Austin Rivers who should be finishing up his senior year at Duke.  The disastrous trade in which the team acquired Jrue Holiday in summer of 2013 for two No. 1 picks is haunting them. They traded this year’s No. 1 for Asik, which so far has turned out for the better. 

But with no picks this year in what could be a good draft, the Pelicans had better hope that the training room clears out soon and stays empty for the foreseeable future. The no-names are winning, but a return to good health would be the best prescription for success. 

E-mail us at:
Jim Miller's columns also can be found 
at Bayou Buzz, giving you the best in Louisiana news, politics and sports.

Now on Kindle!
Jim Miller's true story of a college athletics department's struggle to survive disaster is now on Kindle!
Priests and Poltroons
The Heroes and Villains in Sport

Johnny G could start in L.A.

Johnny Giavotella is making a strong bid to become the Angels' starting second baseman on opening day. The former Jesuit and UNO star, who was acquired from Kansas City in the offseason, leads a crowded field of applicants with a .280 spring batting average and a .957 OPS (on-base plus slugging average).

Sharper agrees to prison in plea deal

Darren Sharper is likely headed to prison for a long time after reaching plea agreements on charges involving the drugging and sexual assault of at least nine women in four states, including Louisiana. The alleged assaults occurred after the former Saint's 2011 retirement and all included drugging the victims.

Kentucky's Karl-Anthony Towns drives for a basket in the Wildcats' win over Cincinnati on Saturday. Cinderella showed up, wrecked most brackets and then left the building. 

Dale Hansen of Dallas' WFAA-TV blasted the Cowboys' signing of Greg Hardy, accused of beating up his former girlfriend. Click here to watch Hansen's scathing editorial.